girls get away

Ok, I have this strong desire to plan a week-end or even one overnight with some girlfriends. I want to do something fun, intentional, and interesting. I love to scrapbook, but I have done that before and that is kind of "work". I have gone to Florida with my two of my closest friends for 4 days but that isn't an option this year. I need to find something close to home we can drive to! So, if anyone has had some fun girls' getaways or some great ideas, send them my way.

My husband was just gone for 2 weeks and now he is planning a guys week-end in May. I don't want to sound like a little kid, but "It's my turn now!"

"stuck"

Do you ever just feel "stuck" in life? Like you don't want to go back but you want to go forward and you don't know how to act, NOW?

I'll explain.

I loved the days of being home all day with "little" ones just playing or letting them play while I cleaned, tidied up, etc. I never seemed to minded the spills, interruptions, and putting them down for naps, reading them stories. That was life! Now, fast-forward, I have a 5 and a 7 year old. For some reason it isn't as much fun for me to play Polly Pockets or Legos than to build a block tower with a toddler. I get frustrated with they are both talking to me while I am trying to read something in the paper with my coffee in the morning. The sound of "Mom" yelling from downstairs while I am trying to clean up breakfast usually doesn't get a "yes, what do you need?" They seem to bicker and fight just a few minutes after they get into a fun activity together.

I feel like I'm almost there. I am almost to a life where they are both in school and I can actually focus again. I feel like my brain is a ping pong ball most days when we are home. However, I know I am going to miss these days when they are gone. I don't want to go back. I love the people my children are. I want to enjoy each day without being an "annoyed Mom". How can I be Mom and Jen?

My brain is kind of like a ping ping ball now! I just read my post and it really doesn't make sense. Hopefully you get what I'm talking about.

life

I love my husband.

I am very happy to be the mother of two children.

I am very happy when it is sunny outside.

I have a wonderful job.

I am about to go eat brownies with ice cream.

Life is good.

not ready to be a single parent

Glenn just returned last night from a 13 day trip to Nicaragua. He worked with CRWM (Christian Reformed World Missions) on a work team with his parents' church, Spring Lake CRC. An added bonus for him was visiting with our friends, the Holtrops, who live in Managua. After the work team left, he was able to enjoy a few days with their family on a little island vacation. I am thankful he got to do this!

While he was gone, I took care of the kids, worked just a little bit at the hospital, and played "manager" for his store and lock facilities. It was a full load. I'd thought I'd humor you with just a few "scatterbrain" things that happened which shows I can't handle it all........

-I left my van keys in the ignition overnight which resulted in a dead battery in the morning. Thankfully, my Mom and Dad were visiting, and Dad and I jumped the car later that night.
-I locked myself out of Glenn's office. I did not know where he hid the spare key. I had to call an emergency locksmith (and am now out 80$!)
-I forget to charge Glenn's business phone this past week and it "died" as I was talking to a customer. I then charged it at Glenn's office the day I locked myself out...charging phone in office...no way to answer calls. Sorry Glenn's customers!!!

happy 5th birthday baby girl!

Happy 5th birthday to our sweet little Hope! This is her photo at the hospital. She is such a gift to our family.

She has an amazing spunk and spirit, and never is a moment dull with her. She at times though can keep herself occupied for an hour with her coloring, stickers, and creating. She loves to dance, loves to sing, and wants to take piano lessons already.

She enjoys school and doing her homework, and she appreciates anything that is "girly".

We had a great day today just celebrating her. I hope to post the photos of our day today. Just need to locate the camera and spend some time on that.

an old diary

Seeing that it is super cold here and seeing that we are inside most afternoons, and seeing that I haven't worked at the hospital in 9 days now, we have pulled out some different things to do around here.

I've been cleaning...that is unusual for me.

I also pulled out my "Memory Box". I have one Rubbermaid that has all "stuff" in it. Glenn and I are only allowed one bin...if we ever have more stuff than that, well, it is too much junk. Anyway, I found a diary I wrote when I was a pre-teen. Pretty funny! I had a riot reading it to Hope. Of course I edited out the stuff she didn't need to hear, but she was giggling a few times about Mommy liking Fudge Brownie ice cream and having a sleepover with 3 girlfriends.

Reading about myself as a child helps me understand more of myself as an adult. One thing I wrote on days we did nothing is that the day was "boring". I saw a few entries.."I'm bored. We did nothing today." True sign of an extrovert...someone that is energized by doing things and going places.

I also wrote about working in the church nursery a lot and holding babies at the hospital when I was a Candystriper. I wrote several times, "I love babies!" Funny how I wound up a labor and delivery nurse all these years later.

Reading about the care-free kid days makes me excited I am a Mom and can witness our kids doing all those things in the future.

thoughts from early 2009

Like the rest of the world, my thoughts turn to this new year. What things can we look forward to? What will happen? What struggles will we endure, and what will God show us?

I don't make resolutions because I am a big dreamer and not the big doer. I don't think I have ever made resolutions. However, I do like to think ahead and try to improve something I am doing.

My cousin Jana recently blogged on how the Christmas break can just turn our homes into this crazy cycle. As much as I love the season the Christmas, it isn't calming to me. I have a Christmas planner to help me stay organized, but I do not see all the dreams I have for our family happen. The days off at home with the kids are wonderful, but life just doesn't "flow". Last Christmas I was so not myself because I think we had too much planned, and this year was much better. I only worked two days over the whole break which really helped. We also didn't host anybody this year. As much as I love it, it makes me anxious.

I know by the end of Christmas break I felt a little "off". I was ready to get back into the school routine and life routine. This week was very good. Here are some thoughts I have had about 2009...........

I have a new non-fuctioning treadmill in my garage that Glenn picked up from an auction. I really hope he can get it working so I can use it. I'd like to be back to my Weight Watchers weight. That means only losing 5# (not too difficult, right?).

I've also picked up some not-so-great eating habits....I like to snack, WAY more than I used to. I actually have a bag of chips by me now while I am writing. I think I eat more in the winter just because there are less things to do. I also drink more coffee than I ever have. I used to crave my morning cup of coffee but now I love it in the afternoon sometimes or at dinner. Sometimes even at 8PM! I'm not sure why this has come up...again, perhaps I am feeling like I have less choices of things to do, so these things sound OK. I am not sure I want to cut down on my coffee consumption, but I more want to understand myself. The eating thing will be hard too...not sure what I want to do about that.

I have been pretty critical of my kids and husband lately. I so badly want my kids to remember the things I have taught them and get frustrated when they act like I have never showed them anything. I also seem to pick on Glenn for silly things that really don't matter. I need to slow down and think before I react and put kindness before anything else.

I also have this love-hate relationship with work right now. I am so grateful I have a job and actually still really enjoy being a labor and delivery nurse, but it is hard for me to go in at 7PM and leave the family scene. I really think again it is related to winter and the shorter days. I have been doing worse with the sleep balance thing and am much crabbier than usual on my short-sleep days.

Winter is hard for me, but we chose to live in Michigan so I just need to be happy and enjoy this days that I get to just clean, organize, and play with my kids. I get to sip coffee in the afternoon, read a book at night, or take a hot bath to warm up. I joke with Glenn every year that we need to move. I totally understand folks who leave to go to Florida every year. Don't be surprised if we do that in 30 years............

For 2009 I want to mainly improve the wife and mother I am to my family. I need to get that right before I can join this committee or volunteer for this or do this at church. I LOVE being busy....I love doing things for others, but on the down-side, I get overwhelmed, anxious, and things at home get chaotic. I will probably be spending a lot of time at home this winter when I am not working. I will probably be doing things that aren't too exciting to many of you. I will be making menus, shopping at Cosco, walking on my treadmill, playing with my kids, and organizing my home. I will have to say no to things that come my way. And that is definitely OK with me.